Still here

I'm still here. Talked to my mom on Sunday, and while she reassured me that she's been hearing from Dad about twice a week, we also talked about the signs we both saw of PTSD before he left to go back. We also talked about the inadequacy of the family support efforts and the mental health screenings that soldiers are supposed to be getting.

Unfortunately, I've begun several posts, only to sit there staring at them, unable to write more than a few words. At the moment, some of the feelings are running so deep, I can't find words. Every time I breathe a sigh of relief: Oh, that's a different part of Iraq, or a different branch of the service, or someone from Iraq, not an American, I still know that someone who was holding their breath, hoping, praying - just being a prayer for their loved one's safety, has had that prayer go unanswered.

Yesterday, I saw an SUV with a "Support the Troops" magnet on it and desperately wanted to ask the person what they were actually *doing* to support the troops. Buying a $1 magnet from the gas station doesn't count. But I also saw a little car with Senate plates and a "Bring Them Home Now" magnet, which was an odd moment of validation.