One of those moments...
Last night, I walked into a local sandwich shop/teahouse with my husband and my mom. A waitress asked me how many in my party, and I automatically said 4. Four would be if my dad could come with us. I hate moments like that.
And this morning, I found the following in a friend's livejournal (reposted with her permission - no, I won't be doing this often, but the frustration in her post spoke to me.):
THE AVERAGE MILITARY WIFE/GIRLFRIEND
The average age of the military wife/girlfriend is 20 years old.
She isn't old enough to buy a beer, but is old enough to manage the entire household.
She probably never saw herself loving a man who was in the military, but she loves him regardless.
Her penmanship has improved over the last few months, due to excessive letter writing.
She cries alot, because she misses the man she swore to love. Her life isn't complete without him.
She looks very tired, because of her many sleepless nights either waiting for a call that never came or one that did and just because she heard his voice, she is too overjoyed to sleep.
As a wife, she is classified as a dependent, but she is completely independent.
She tends to her household, her kids, her school work, and her job, all without her husband.
She manages a smile, even though inside she's crying.
She understands that the man she loves has to go far away.
She understand that he can be taken from her in a moments notice.
She feels a great sense of pride and probably cries whenever she hears the National Anthem, sees a flag blowing in the breeze, or watches the news and hears about another death in Iraq, worrying that it might be him.
She goes weeks without a call or a letter, but she writes him whenever she gets a free moment.
She knows how to convert civilian time into military time.
She knows how to iron his clothes and how to get the creases just right.
Before he left she used to complain if she didn't see him for a day or two, but now she gets annoyed when she hears someone complaining about not seeing their boyfriends.
She may not have seen him for months but she remembers everything about him, every scar he has, the way he smells, the sound of him sleeping.
She has every picture of him and them out and in frames, she stares at them for hours on end and has read every letter he's written at least 40 times.
Even though her man is a half a world away, she manages to go on with her life, as he would want her to.
You may not know what she looks like, but as soon as you see her you'll know that her husband is a world away without even having to speak to her.
She's the one who's half frowning half smiling, she has at least one Support out Troops pin that she wears and one displayed on her car.
Half her wardrobe is based on his military branch.
She never knew that could love the color camouflage, green, tan, navy blue, red or black so much.
Next time you see her, thank her for what her and the man she loves is doing. She will greatly appreciate it and she will smile the rest of the day!
********************************************
The pro-Bush posts in another journal got me thinking...People don't really understand the cost of this present administrations policy. The cost in lives doesn't mean anything to them, unless it is someone they personally know that dies...and then they also forget about the lives of the wives and children. We are faceless and swept under the rug. How many children are growing up without seeing their Fathers or Mothers for a year or more at a time? In the bed next to my husband, when he was in Walter Reed, recovering from his own injuries in Iraq, was a young man who had lost both of his arms. His twin sons were born the day he was injured. What do you say to a young man who will never hold his children? Never touch their faces, stoking the hair out of their eyes while they sleep? "It was worth it, because Bush says so, and after all, he was the lesser of two evils." I don't think so.
I restrained myself from responding in the other journal. But here is my response: Have you served? Are you a vet? Are you the wife, or the child of someone who has spent time in the sandbox? Have you gone to the funerals? Have you held someone while she cried, because she doesn't know where her husband is, and there was just a story on CNN about a helicopter shot down, or another IED going off and killing more soldiers? Do you know, personally, what the cost of the lies you support are? You don't? You aren't? THEN SHUT THE F*CK UP. You haven't EARNED the right to tell me to suck it up and deal with it.
*And from her comments: http://www.here-now.org/shows/2007/03/20070315_9.asp is an NPR story on sexual assault in the military.
And this morning, I found the following in a friend's livejournal (reposted with her permission - no, I won't be doing this often, but the frustration in her post spoke to me.):
THE AVERAGE MILITARY WIFE/GIRLFRIEND
The average age of the military wife/girlfriend is 20 years old.
She isn't old enough to buy a beer, but is old enough to manage the entire household.
She probably never saw herself loving a man who was in the military, but she loves him regardless.
Her penmanship has improved over the last few months, due to excessive letter writing.
She cries alot, because she misses the man she swore to love. Her life isn't complete without him.
She looks very tired, because of her many sleepless nights either waiting for a call that never came or one that did and just because she heard his voice, she is too overjoyed to sleep.
As a wife, she is classified as a dependent, but she is completely independent.
She tends to her household, her kids, her school work, and her job, all without her husband.
She manages a smile, even though inside she's crying.
She understands that the man she loves has to go far away.
She understand that he can be taken from her in a moments notice.
She feels a great sense of pride and probably cries whenever she hears the National Anthem, sees a flag blowing in the breeze, or watches the news and hears about another death in Iraq, worrying that it might be him.
She goes weeks without a call or a letter, but she writes him whenever she gets a free moment.
She knows how to convert civilian time into military time.
She knows how to iron his clothes and how to get the creases just right.
Before he left she used to complain if she didn't see him for a day or two, but now she gets annoyed when she hears someone complaining about not seeing their boyfriends.
She may not have seen him for months but she remembers everything about him, every scar he has, the way he smells, the sound of him sleeping.
She has every picture of him and them out and in frames, she stares at them for hours on end and has read every letter he's written at least 40 times.
Even though her man is a half a world away, she manages to go on with her life, as he would want her to.
You may not know what she looks like, but as soon as you see her you'll know that her husband is a world away without even having to speak to her.
She's the one who's half frowning half smiling, she has at least one Support out Troops pin that she wears and one displayed on her car.
Half her wardrobe is based on his military branch.
She never knew that could love the color camouflage, green, tan, navy blue, red or black so much.
Next time you see her, thank her for what her and the man she loves is doing. She will greatly appreciate it and she will smile the rest of the day!
********************************************
The pro-Bush posts in another journal got me thinking...People don't really understand the cost of this present administrations policy. The cost in lives doesn't mean anything to them, unless it is someone they personally know that dies...and then they also forget about the lives of the wives and children. We are faceless and swept under the rug. How many children are growing up without seeing their Fathers or Mothers for a year or more at a time? In the bed next to my husband, when he was in Walter Reed, recovering from his own injuries in Iraq, was a young man who had lost both of his arms. His twin sons were born the day he was injured. What do you say to a young man who will never hold his children? Never touch their faces, stoking the hair out of their eyes while they sleep? "It was worth it, because Bush says so, and after all, he was the lesser of two evils." I don't think so.
I restrained myself from responding in the other journal. But here is my response: Have you served? Are you a vet? Are you the wife, or the child of someone who has spent time in the sandbox? Have you gone to the funerals? Have you held someone while she cried, because she doesn't know where her husband is, and there was just a story on CNN about a helicopter shot down, or another IED going off and killing more soldiers? Do you know, personally, what the cost of the lies you support are? You don't? You aren't? THEN SHUT THE F*CK UP. You haven't EARNED the right to tell me to suck it up and deal with it.
*And from her comments: http://www.here-now.org/shows/2007/03/20070315_9.asp is an NPR story on sexual assault in the military.
posted by Plain Foolish | 7:23 AM
2 Comments:
As usual you've hit another 'home run'. You write from your heart and with the prose of a saint. I love what you've written and I love your close, 'STFU'. I'm smiling even as I write. God bless and keep you and may his light shine on you and give you peace! :-)
That actually was not my close. That was the close of the army wife I got this from, who has heard one too many times the military culture taboo on "whining" which seems to include mentioning the hardships of having a relative deployed or even as she has had to cope with, badly wounded. Her husband has recovered and is being deployed again, and I must say that I completely agree with her on this one.
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